Are you there, God? It's me, Margarine.

Hello, interweb. Did you miss me? No, I guess not. I suppose for you to miss me I would have to be absent for at least a day or two. But we visit every single day. I take it for granted, I guess. Perhaps I should not. You may have noticed that I did not capitalize your name just now. That was intentional, but please don't take it as a slight. It is not meant to be. I simply regard that as the correct spelling of your name, whether the more proper 'internet' or my somewhat snarky 'interweb'. No, that's not quite right: not snarky, but silly and feigning obtuseness. But I digest...
I thought maybe this was a dumb move on my part: not to capitalize. Technically incorrect, I suppose, although I think the more proper choice. So I looked up something in the 'Dictionary' app. on my iBook. Incidentally, this app. is powered by Oxford American Dictionaries. I looked up 'universe'. In parentheses following the word's designation as a noun it reads 'the universe'. I propose that something as big as the universe is at least as important as the internet. And it's not a proper name, but more of a concept, a human construct. So OK then. Hi.